Hey nerds!1
There’s been a lot of self loathing, middle-aged woe and dumpster fires around here lately. And with that recognition I feel a panicked need to tell you that I’M ALSO SUPER FUN!
This isn’t going to be a newsletter where I only dump pieces of pain out of my brain. But honestly, my recent posts have represented where my head and my heart have been lately.
This body and brain has felt incredibly heavy and at times pointless in 2023…Why am I even god-damn wrapping each individual present in a stocking! Oh so I can eat the chocolate Santa’s: one for me, one for the stocking.
An aside, please DON'T PANIC that I’ve already wrapped stocking stuffers. This is out of necessity! Dealing with wrapping paper, while high last Christmas Eve led to a moment of clarity that caused an anxiety hiccup. A la, what the fuck am I teaching my daughter about consumerism and how I’m personally ending the world with the purchase of this squishmallo.
Today I want to tell you about how I fucking love Dr Who
Tom Baker technically popped my Doctor Who cherry, but it was the 5th doctor, Peter Davison who showed me the magic of The Doctor.
It helped that I was already in love with the wild and charming Tristan from All Creatures Great And Small. This British veterinarian mellow-drama was a Saturday night preteen staple with my mother, in her bed, eating half a Bounty Bar. The energy that Tristan put into The Doctor became whimsy and lightness that inspired me to escape.
Let’s go through the wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey to 2007.
I live in Wellington, New Zealand with my partner. He’d recently asked me to marry me at one of our drunken house parties and then forgot he’d asked me.
It was devastating so I figured smoking copious amounts of weed and working through a 2nd rewatch of Buffy the Vampire Slayer would sort it. When suddenly 2 CDS arrived by post from my Australian nerd friends (love you Mij & Troy). They reached through time and space and told me I HAD TO WATCH THE FIRST THREE EPISODES.
Okay fine. I guess you know something about sci-fi…hrummph.
Armed with my laptop I entered the world of the ninth Doctor, Christopher Eccleston who will forever hold the top Doctor spot for me:
Episode 1 “Rose” - Plastic mannequins come to life and this chick Rose shows up…meh. 2/5 stars
Episode 2 “The End of The World” - Rose and the Doctor go to the year 5 Billion to watch the sun explode and destroy the earth. We meet the last human Cassandra, “moisturize me”. Okay - this has some power behind it. 3/5 stars
Episode 3 “The Unquiet Dead” - Re-animated corpses, blue vapour and the dynamic team of The Doctor and Charles Dickens. You had me at re-animated corpses in period costume. 5/5 stars
And that was all it took.
What I fucking love about Doctor Who
Their energy
Their instinctive nature to tackle hard things
They hate guns
They problem solve with innovation
They feel despair and pain
They see the awe in everyday things, “Oh look! Big mining thing! Oh, I love a big mining thing.”
They believe in the best parts of being human after seeing the worst
They FUCKING TIME TRAVEL - Please can I meet Van Gogh
They feel joy and hope.
Ultimately Doctor Who resonates with me because they see the universe with blinders on. They are always looking forward, always running (seriously my cardio would improve incredibly!) and seek exciting adventures with, new companions.
They are always running because they don’t want to look back.
They don’t want to dwell on the death, the destruction, the loneliness and the grief.
A 1,000 year old alien who has fought in galactic wars, misses every person they’ve ever cared for and is the last of their entire race is not dealing with their feelings and thoughts. The Doctor does not look after their mental health well.
My blinders hover around my ears, just like The Doctor. I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to dwell on death, destruction, loneliness and grief. I get it. If I could hop in a blue box and travel ANYWHERE IN TIME AND SPACE you know I’d be in there, yanking on those leavers yelling, “Allons-y!”
Back & Black!
So while I’m dwelling on how The Doctor does not look after their mental health and that DONNA IS BACK!2 Ncuti Gatwa (fucking yes!) shows up as the new Doctor in the last episode of the 3-part 60th Anniversary special.
With several keystrokes Russell T. Davies (the writer) shows us he’s been having the same thoughts3; The Doctor has been suffering for too long AND The Doctor can recover. I will not give you any spoilers but the end made me cry!
Anyone who uses The Doctor Blinder Technique knows these blinders are only useful for a time and if left on they become anchors that slowly drag your heart to the bottom of the universe.
Escape And Reality
I will still escape to the world of The Doctor and marvel at new creatures and vast worlds, AND I will also, sometimes stop running.
I will stop
and think
and feel.
I’m already desperate to delete this sentence and forget I ever had this thought! - Blinders people!
I’m ready to lighten my universal anchor and look back. I’m going to talk about the things that fill me with fear AND top up my Tardis cup.
My Tardis cup is more full this holiday season because my 10-year-old daughter now UNDERSTANDS why we have a Tardis on the top of our Christmas tree.
I wish for you a holiday season that balances the blinders and the curiosity. And If this piece has sparked your Doctor interest this is my personal invitation to come and join us. Yes, it is like a cult, but a super cool cult where we all have sonic screwdrivers.
Love and wishing you the best time and space journeys,
Elizabeth
I’m using nerds in the best possible way. Nerdship: How we love a thing with such verocity that we annoy others, and then one magical day we find other people who feel the same way about the thing we love. That is nerdship.
Donna Noble is my favourite companion and my pseudonym’s last name does come from Clan Noble. We are a group of brave, loud, empathetic and hilarious women. I declare that the Noble’s shall reign, love, cry, care and support the world’s Doctors.
Yes, Russell T. Davies I would love to come and write with you.